The Blog of thelittlethings

so let me hold your hand,

lets walk together.

we can runaway,

we can run far.

your my best friend,

and i'm scared if we don't leave now,

it will be to late.

your drifting away,

and this is not what i want.

what i want, what i need.

is all you !

The sound of people rushing through the halls, gossip being said everyone you turn. Mainly about there weekends, "did you go to his party?" "did she sleep with him?" there's always something new. but have you ever been in a perdictument where your oldest best friend is saying stuff behind your newest best friends back. Now that is hard to deal with, you love them both, and u don't want anyone saying anything about each other. I feel trapped in the middle, of a lions fight. I can't get out without getting hurt, or hurting someone else. Why must girls be so, bitchy, hateful, snobby. I'm a girl and i don't look at life like that, i'm more laid back, easy going. I know thats why i choose to hang out with boys more than girls. I just don't no what to say to both of them, do i just not say a thing or sit there and listen?

Someone help me on this one !

I can't help but cry, to think you could be gone at any time. I already miss you, and your not even gone yet. That cancer took a part of you, that i loved. You not the same. I know your fighting the bad and the good, but i want the good part of you back. Nothing but fights, nothing but silence. I don't wanna remember you like this. I want to remember, the caring, fun, funny grandmother. You say once the treatments are done, things will be the same agian. Your all i got left, so you can't leave. You never seen me graduate or get married or see me have kids. I need you there with me along the way. Do i seem selfish? I feel like i am, but i don't. It's to hard to say goodbye.

if your not the one,

why does my hand fit yours.

if your not mine,

would i have the strength to stand.

i'll share my life with you,

i don't wanna run away.

but i can't stand it,

is there anyway i can stay.

why am i crying?

why is it always your name.

then why do u dream of you,

so far away.

we'll make it through,

be the one i die with.

i don't understand,

if i'm not made for you,

why does my heart say so.

i breather you in,

i love you,

sorry i can't be with you tonight.

your words keep me alive,

i'll take your breathe away,

close your eyes,

i follow without pride,

nothing stand between us here,

i'll hold you tight,

i'll take your breathe away,

i'll wipe away the tears.

I miss the way you look at me, like i'm the only person in the room. I miss the way you always say i love you no matter who's around. I miss your company. I miss the smile you always gave me. But most of all i miss the way you made me feel. Not a day went by that i didn't think about you. The guilt that i felt, the stomach aches, the loss of words to say each day.. You need to get over me, cuz i can't get over you unless your gone. This is too hard ! It means the world to me that you care about me this much, but we can't be together and thats that! so for now i just have to miss you, and you have to step forward, because i can't step back no more.

Those damn butterflies. There always there, whenever your around. Whats a girl to do, when she likes you but she thinks you don't feel the same way? You hear about that happening to other people, but it never tells what they did. So what do you do? I'm stuck in this complication and don't know how to get out. I already just got out of an awful relationship with someone, and i don't wanna get things to confused. But he just makes me smile, when no one else can. He always knows the right thing to say.

Somehow i know you like me, by the way you look at me everyday.

But what do i do know?

Things are gettng so complicated, i thought they would get better as i got older but they just got worse. I don't know what i want to do with the rest of my life, there's so many things. But nothing for me. It seems like i'm just being pressured. I know my mom wants me to live her life, the way she wanted it to be, but getting pregant and leaving the father, wasn't all to smart. For her life. Don't get me wrong i'm glad there not together, cause jesus that would be hell, but it would have been nice to have a extra parent around. She's just always telling me i can do better, but what if ? thats all i can do, and all i can be. I'm not that smart, it doesn't come easy, it's hard work. Not saying either that lifes easy, cause everyone knows it's not, but everyone has good days. But me, i haven't, it's probably not the worst life in the world, but i wish it could be better. There's that word agian "wish" we all wish for things, and we all hope, but it doesn't really happen, if you all think it don't help either, then why would someone come up with that word. I don't understand. Anyway, i don't no what to do with the rest of my life. If you asked me right now, whats the best thing in the world i would tell you, children, it blows my mind that we were all that small and innocent, and had so much time, then all of a sudden you grow up, and all these decisions are coming at you. I guess we just have to go back to that word agian, " I wish and hope things work out for the best "

Do you notice that throughtout life you meet lots of friends and after such a period in your life, there gone. Well i always thought thats how it worked, growing up thats what i got use to. but when i hit jr.high and my first year was hell, ( but thats a different story) i met this one girl and she was, so much like me, we could relate about almost everything. She was a great friend,she stood by me when i did wrong, she stood up for me when i did right. She is just a great friend ! But one day i let another friend come between us. And in my heart i new that was wrong, but my head was telling me different. All i could think was the worst of her. But after about a year, of being without her, i missed her. i had no one to talk to and to vent to, or just to go out and have some laughs. i missed that. and i new it was all my fault. and i just wanted to make it all disappear,. i regreted the other friend. and i regreted the way i treated the other friend. but as life went on, i let things pass. until one day i was having a terrible time, i found out my grandmother was extermly sick with her cancer, now that was hard to take in. but when i looked at my new friend for help, she walked away, to see a boy. but suddenly i looked to my right, and there stood the true friend, the great friend, the would who would always relate !  Never in my life, have i felt that much love. And to this day. i will always be by here right, cuz when i was in need she was there for me, and it really does show, who stands there in the end,. I will never forgot that day, until the day that i die.

so do we need men?, do we need that attention?, do we need that love?

I have come to think that, we do need all them things. As much as we say, we don't ! we really do. Thats what makes us human, the love and comfort. I've been with lots of guys and seen how they act and how at the moment they say they need you but they don't, they find it easy just to pick up and leave. and find another girl. But today, i have come across a guy, who even after we broke up, he still needs me, and wants me. To him: his day isn't complete until he talks to me. and that gives me love and comfort. But he needs to move on. we can't be together anymore. but it's so hard to walk away from a guy that reallly loves you, and the more i think about it, the more i feel maybe i love him back.  But who really knows what love is? is it just a feeling? i guess teenage life has came into the situation. and your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another. I wish there was just away to say goodbye, but the problem with that it, i would miss him just as much as he would miss me. now why does life throw that at us? There so many questions going on in my head, and i wish there was someone there just to answer them.

Another day, Another hour, Another something thats just a bother. don't you ever just get tired of hearing everyone excuses, and no matter what you do there's always someone telling you, you did worng, even tho you no you did. you don't want anyone to say it. you put the weight of the world on your shoulders, and think well it's just being a good person, but your actually killing yourself slowly inside. and everyone has those days that you just don't wanna get out of bed, but you still do for a special someone, but to them it's never good enough ! a woman can only take so much. until they drop to there knee's for forgiveness. But why is it that, the person saying sorry, shouldn't be. why is it that people like us always take the fall. one day it will come to a day where i'll say, your wrong ! and i'll feel good bout what i said, no matter how much it's gunna hurt them. so let them take your thunder, cuz the day that i will be strong will be the day i walk away from you !